Running Safely While Female

Big news this summer on the murders of three women runners in three different states over the course of nine days from July 30 to August 7. It's news because it's rare. Even so, the Internet is abuzz with asinine safety tips for women runners.

People sometimes ask if I'm afraid to run alone before dawn and what I do for safety. They blanch when I answer: I'm not afraid, and I don't take safety precautions against potential attackers.

I've been running for seven years now, primarily outside, usually before sunrise. So it's lonely and it's dark. It's the only part of the day I can stand Texas summer, and it's the only time I don't get cat-called, wolf-whistled, and honked at by passersby. Because there are no passersby. I rarely see another soul; only the neighborhood rabbits startle me when they dart suddenly in corners of my vision. (I don't wear my glasses to run either.)

Fact is, I've had more scary run-ins with dogs than I have with people, and only one of those dogs was ever aggressive—a little yappy one of course. All the off-leash big dogs and bully breeds only always want pats and to go run with me. The soundest piece of running safety advice I've ever received is from a police officer who told me that most dogs will respond if you stop, stand firm, and shout "NO!" That's what I did when the little yappy dog came after me, though I had to say it twice before its owner showed up.

A photo posted by Kayla Foster (@knfoster22) on Aug 18, 2016 at 9:03am PDT

I do wear an ID band with an emergency contact in case I'm incapacitated such as if a car hit me. Drivers barely miss me on a regular basis, despite my neon hues in broad daylight when they're about and my presence in clearly marked crosswalks with the light in my favor. There's little I can do to protect against that sort of accident. I do use the Road ID app, which will alert my designated contacts if I stop moving for more than 5 minutes and send them a link to my location, but it's glitchy.

But muggers, rapists, and murderers? Nah. I have a mini-size, belt-clip pepper spray that I've never carried; I highly doubt my ability to unclip it quickly and use it effectively. They make collapsible poles for runners' protection and hiking, but I don't want to carry extra crap on top of my car key, water bottle, cell phone, GUs, lip balm, flashlight, and anti-chafe cream; so don't even suggest a gun either. I've taken a few self-defense courses here and there, and the main thing I've learned is that running away is always the best option. Realistically, how much time and money would it take for me to effectively train to protect myself in a combat situation with someone bigger, stronger, and very probably armed?

I'm 5'3". If someone's determined to get me, they're gonna get me. Statistically speaking, though. I'm far more likely to be raped or murdered by an intimate partner.

And until then, I've got running to do.

Take advantage of early season pricing & be a part of the 2016 BMW Dallas Marathon! |12.11.16| #RUNBMWDALLAS

A photo posted by BMW Dallas Marathon (@bmwdallasmarathon) on Jun 3, 2016 at 12:57pm PDT

Birthday Racing

I registered for the Cobra Brewing 5k this year because I enjoyed last year's vibe and post-race porter so much. I was really lucky the weather shifted this weekend, giving us a slightly cooler, though very humid, Saturday morning. It really sucked that they decided to start the race as late as 9:30 a.m., but I knew to expect the ugly two-loop course. What I didn't expect was the brewery not offering their porter to race participants, so I went home beer-less and thoroughly disappointed. I definitely won't be registering for that one again. The race photos kinda sucked, too. I might just dress up again and stage my own shoot.

But I ran an awesome 38:03, whereas I've mostly been running 14:30-miles on all my shorter summer runs, and I looked great as Wonder Woman.

Sunday being my birthday, I signed up for the Hottest Half and 10k and ran the 10k. The weather was quite a bit cooler and actually pleasant. The event ran out of race shirts even near my size before I arrived, so I have YET ANOTHER garbage race shirt for which I paid just as much as anyone else and won't get to wear. The course also sucked and I won't be doing this race again either. It was predominantly concrete with a smattering of asphalt and no small bit of painful, rocky, trail. My feet were bruised and cramping because of it.

On the bright side, my costume was inexpensive and far more comfortable than I expected, and I got lots of compliments. I asked a volunteer to write "BDAY" on the back of one of my calves and "BIG 30" on the other, so I got lots of birthday wishes, too. The course had LOTS of support and water stations. I felt strong and really enjoyed myself, even after racing the day before, and I finished with a 13:36 average per-mile pace, WAY better than all my 14-16 training runs.

The pro pics were great and I got a free one, too, as well as a badass medal with my birthday on it. The venue, Community Beer, offered a rich Russian imperial stout called Legion, which went beautifully with my garb and more than made up for the previous day's disappointment.

Travel Modifications

Marathon training means planning several “shorter” runs during the week and one long run on the weekend, which makes it REALLY hard to train on top of weekend travel and/or socializing. I’ve been pretty good at getting my weekend miles in regardless; I love running in new places, so that definitely helps when I’m out of town.

This weekend I spent Saturday in New Braunfels floating the Comal River with friends, which seems like a relaxing way to spend the day, but I was just EXHAUSTED when I woke Sunday and had to scrap my long run entirely. I knew I couldn’t run and still have the energy to safely drive home 4 hours alone.

I was actually pretty disappointed to skip the run, even though I’d been dreading the hills in San Marcos. After I packed up, I went to the trailhead near our lodging anyway to check out the Spring Lake Nature Preserve where I’d been planning to run.

It was fantastic! At first I was sad to have missed out on running such lovely, shaded dirt trails, but when two deer ran across my path, I realized that hiking it was a better choice. Running would require keeping my eyes glued to the ground to avoid tripping over rocks, but hiking gave me the chance to see so much more and take pictures. I saw birds and butterflies and wildflowers and even an ocelot!

Morning #naturewalk #hike #flowers #texaswildflowers #naturalbeauty

A photo posted by Moniqa Aylin (@fierymon) on Jul 10, 2016 at 6:54pm PDT

There was no cell phone reception and no other people in the area for nearly an hour. The morning was humid and warm but not unpleasant until just before I left. As I hiked back to the trail head, I saw a deer across a clearing in the trees, and we stared at one another for several long moments.

After an awful week of news, my time spent solitary in the quiet magic of nature was deeply cathartic.

This early in training, I can always run another day.

Extra Fitness Gear Recs

When you spend so many hours moving, having the right gear matters for your comfort and performance. I'm not competitive, and comfort is VERY important. Here are some of my favorite fitness products. The previous post about essential gear was getting too long, so I broke it up to make a new post for non-essential items that are helpful to have.

Extras

Compression calf sleeves:
These help prevent shin splints, lessen calf soreness, and speed recovery. They are difficult to put on, and I wouldn't recommend them if one has limited dexterity/strength. I don't like the "women's" sleeves I've purchased because they were too short, and I am a short lady (5'3"). I definitely recommend the Remedy brand. I own 4 pairs and am waiting on another in the mail. Groupon frequently has them on sale for $10.

Bondi Band
Not all headbands are created equal. Bondi Bands are designed not to slip, and they have lots of fun designs. They also advertise as a "no drip" headband, but I haven't found that to be true in Texas' heat and humidity. You can get 10% off any order at bondiband.com with code: WithAQ

#feelinggood after ~7 miles in > 90% #humidity. Very pleased with 13:30-14 pace (my trackers conflict). #longrun #runlikeagirl #feelinmyself #flawless #everydayislegday #marathontraining #bondiband #ENELL #zombiesrun #savingtheworld #fitfeminist #BAWG

A photo posted by Moniqa Aylin (@fierymon) on Jun 4, 2016 at 6:27am PDT

Earbuds:
Three years ago, I bought some iLuv brand, FitActive style earbuds from Groupon for $10 and haven't stopped using them. My ears are too small to comfortably wear the standard iPod earbuds, and the in-ear interchangeable-size, dome-shaped insert style was never comfortable for me. Over-the-ear earbuds were also weird, especially navigating them around my hair, my headband, and my glasses. The iLuv FitActive style has since changed a bit, but my roommate bought the newer ones on my recommendation, and she digs them. Search for "iLuv FitActive earbuds" or get them here for $10.

June Journaling 21-24

I found a list of daily prompts for journaling in June and thought I'd give it a shot.
Yes, it's late; life happens.

21. What motivates you?

I sign up for races in order to motivate myself to work out. I work out to help mitigate depression and construct purpose in my life.

I work so I can maintain the lifestyle I like, including living in a house instead of an apartment, eating good food, and socializing with friends.

I volunteer to support my hobbies (trail rebuilding and race volunteering) and (clinic escorting) to atone for my teenage years spent as a rabid pro-lifer. 

22. What do you need?

Well, this prompt is painfully vague, isn't it?

I wish I had more time and social energy. I'd been looking forward to Queerbomb (the local anti-corporate-sponsorship alternative Pride event) for weeks and very much wanted to attend, but I had two migraines and slept very poorly every night in the week leading up to it and could not muster an ounce of energy to spend with crowds when the day finally came. I had strongly ambivalent feelings about not going.

I wish there were more ways to spend time with the queer community that weren't so late in the evenings or so spendy or so crowded always. Bisexuals are isolated enough; being an introvert doesn't help.


23. A way you relax:

I'm almost ashamed to say (because our culture insists it is shameful) that I spend a lot of my downtime with Netflix. I work full time and commute, which takes up 45-50 hours of my week. I'm training for a marathon, which includes cross-training and occupies up to 10 hours a week. I socialize a bit with my friends. And whatever is left after laundry, cleaning, and meal prep goes to sitting on the couch watching cute shows and petting cats.

I'd read more, but my job kind of burns me out on looking at words. I shouldn't have to justify spending time watching TV, but I feel like I have to because "laziness" is so reviled in our culture. Often I scan photos or work on crafts while watching TV, but then that counts as chores and work for me rather than relaxing.

Really, an episode of Charmed or Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries is such a lovely way to unwind before bed: clever, kind, kick-ass women battle and defeat evil in an hour or less. What could be better?

24. The person you are currently grateful for:

I'm very grateful for the love, affection, and concern from my close friends and my sister. It's been a rough couple of weeks since the Orlando massacre, and it's been a huge help to know I have people who care for me and whom I can rely on. I've been sharing hugs and extra support with my housemates recently and lots of love with other friends as well.

June Journaling 18-20

I found a list of daily prompts for journaling in June and thought I'd give it a shot. Yes, it's late; life happens.

18. Something to give up:

I'm giving up this failure mindset that I will never ever make it out of debt. I'm not the first in my family to struggle with this, but I can do better. I have a lot of student loans I'm still paying, now 8 years since I graduated. And a big bank gave a 20-year-old kid a credit card with an $11k limit. That one's almost paid off, but I have more. I can definitely pay off my PayPal Credit and medical bills by the end of this year. If I work really hard at it, I could pay off some other stuff by the end of next year, but I don't see that realistically happening, so I'm setting a mid-2018 goal, which will coincide with paying off my car. I'll still have student loans at that point, but maybe there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. 

19. An area to grow in:

Well, I'm always improving my organization skills, even if I have too much stuff, and I'm always getting better at culling and donating. I frequently read books and blogs and take courses to improve my editing and design skills.

This year I have failed to establish a regular meditation practice, so maybe I could work on meditating more often going forward.
20. An exceptional skill you possess: 

I can identify the difference between a capital I and lowercase l in most sans-serif fonts.
I can identify the difference between a hyphen, an en dash, and an em dash and when to use each.
I belly dance.
I spin fire.
I make myself laugh.
I can list all 7 of my siblings' birthdays (but not years) and my parents' and step-parents' too.

• Jan. 9
• April 16
• April 23
• June 30
• July 1
• July 3
• July 8
• July 27
• Aug. 20
• Dec. 18
• Dec. 25

I don't know; that's all I have for now.

 

June Journaling 17

I found a list of daily prompts for journaling in June and thought I'd give it a shot.

17. Words you need to share:

Especially this week as we're reeling from grief and feeling helpless:  

Remember that you must put on your own oxygen mask before you can assist others.

Take care of yourself and honor your needs for self care and self compassion. Take the time to feel your feelings, and don't worry if you cannot yet find the energy, time, or space necessary to comfort others or take action. Trust that you are doing the absolute best you can with the resources available to you; you are doing the best you can with the stress and coping skills that you have, and no one can ask any more of you than you can do.

"Remember that it is common to have a range of emotions after a traumatic incident. You may experience intense stress similar to the effects of a physical injury. For example, you may feel exhausted, sore or off balance." —American Psychological Association suggestions for managing distress in the aftermath of a shooting

As a bisexual woman, I felt this article in particular resonates with my feelings:

"Being a bi woman means occupying a lot of weird liminal space. In that way we are very queer….we don’t fit well into boxes. Too gay to be straight, too straight to be gay, we are often locked out of the resources and support meant for the queer community due to biphobia and erasure while being pornified and objectified by the patriarchal male gaze of heteronormative culture. It’s no wonder that bi women are suffering from such a serious mental health crisis."

Self-Compassion exercises
45 Simple Self-Care ideas