Answering Queries: Volunteerism and mental health

I put some thought into recent responses on Quora and figured I'd share them here, too, since I clearly need to work on writing more consistently.

How does volunteering and "giving back" improve mental health?

Often, a feature of poor mental health is feeling as if one has no purpose in life. Volunteering addresses this in a very direct way because it allows a person to fill a need in their community.

Additionally, it can get people out of the house when they might otherwise struggle to do so and provides an opportunity to meet new people, learn new skills, make new friends, demonstrate previously hidden or unrecognized competencies, pet animals at a shelter, spend time in nature, travel, attend interesting but expensive fundraising events or conferences that might otherwise be inaccessible for a volunteer, hear influential speakers, participate in enjoyable movement and exercise, and make the world a better place, all of which can improve mental well-being in various ways.

Keeping busy with volunteer activities can also aid in mindfulness practices and minimizing rumination. It can expose people to new viewpoints that counter false beliefs and negative thinking patterns and give a sense of perspective of the variety of challenges that others may be struggling with.

There are myriad potential mental health benefits to volunteering and giving back to others that will vary for each person and volunteer opportunity.

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Answering Queries: Asexuality

I put some thought into recent responses on Quora and figured I'd share them here, too, since I clearly need to work on writing more consistently.

How do you deal with being asexual?

It can help to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Society is messed up. Social stigma is never your fault. Our culture’s valuation of sexual relationships is narrow-minded, unbalanced, impractical, and unhealthy.

Others’ assumptions about asexuality and misunderstandings can create a lot of challenges in social interactions, but that is not your fault either.

One way to deal with this is to find community. Look for asexual and demisexual groups and pages to follow on social media and forums, check out meetup groups in your area, and explore the friends-seeking features on apps like OkCupid and Bumble.

Learning more about your particular feelings of attraction or lack thereof both sexually and romantically as well as your desires in relation to sexual, sensual, affectionate, and platonic touch will help you develop a strong sense of self and help in navigating relationships with friends and others. It will allow you to determine your wants, needs, and boundaries and how to express them so others will learn how to treat you. There are more and more books, blogs, YouTube videos, memes, and podcasts on these topics. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network has some great resources to look into.

Some ace folk find ethical non-monogamy and polyamory to be valid and fulfilling relationship models because they can enjoy partnership (be it romantic, affectionate, queerplatonic, or something else) without pressure or expectation to fulfill someone’s specific needs that do not mesh with their own. There are lots of books, podcasts, blogs, conferences, social events, and social media groups that can provide more information if this is something that piques your curiosity.

Visibility of asexuality is increasing, and there are many queer allies pushing for better understanding, inclusion, and support of the asexual spectrum within the LGBTQIA community.

Above all, do what feel right for you and don’t give in to others’ pressures or expectations. Be true to yourself, and find people who respect, support, and honor you in doing so.

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