Answering Queries: Sexual Orientation and Child-Rearing

I put some thought into recent responses on Quora and figured I'd share them here, too, since I clearly need to work on writing more consistently.

How does gender identity and the relatively recent occurrence of people identifying themselves as pan-sexual poly-sexual, omnis-sexual, ambi-sexual, and fluid sexuality merge into traditional mother and father roles when raising children?

The sexual orientations listed in the original question (pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, ambisexual, fluid), as well as homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual, really only define the types of people that one finds sexually or romantically attractive.

Whether one is attracted to men, women, or anyone else is not indicative of whether they want children or how they would choose to raise them.

For any parents of any type, the division of labor and childcare in a house is up to them to determine based on their preferences, skills, and abilities.

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Answering Queries: My Spouse is Bisexual?

I put some thought into recent responses on Quora and figured I'd share them here, too, since I clearly need to work on writing more consistently.

What should I do that I've discovered my husband is a bisexual?

If he has told you he is bisexual, then support him and thank him for trusting you with that information. It can be hard to come out to friends and loved ones because there is so much erasure of bisexuality in our culture as well as negative stereotypes and bi-phobia from both heterosexual AND homosexual peers.

Nothing has actually changed except that he has revealed a private part of himself to you. Maybe ask him if he feels a desire to act on those feelings and discuss whether or how you two want to address that.

If he has not told you, then he is not ready to, and it is not for you to “out” him.

Despite common misconceptions, bisexual people are no more or less likely to break relationship agreements than, say, a person who finds both blondes and brunettes attractive.

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