A Noteworthy Run

I had a noteworthy 16-mile training run yesterday.

When I got to the lake well before dawn, I used the portapotty, and then discovered I’d locked my key in my car. With my phone. And all my gear. It was still dark, and my car was the only one in this lot . . . except for a cop car at the far end.

I walked over to ask if the officer could call a locksmith for me, and he looked at me solemnly and said, “No.” Then his face lit up and he said he could actually help me because he recently bought a Slim Jim kit since so many people ask if he can help them get into their cars. And he hadn’t gotten to use it yet and was kind of excited to try.

As we went to my car, I wondered if maaaybe I should have pulled off the Black Lives Matter decal, but it was still pretty dark, so it went unnoticed or unmentioned. I was going to offer to get my ID from the trunk to prove it’s my car (there were a few other runners in the area), but he never asked, and I finally got to start my run. Thanks, DPD!

All of this happened, by the way, with a high surge of anxiety that wouldn’t dissipate for at least 5 miles.

I had been SO looking forward to the forecasted low 50s weather, but it ended up in the low 60s instead. I kept wondering “wtf?” as I passed so many people in sweatshirts while I was basically sweating my tits off.

The run itself was wholly unremarkable . . . except that it wasn’t nearly as torturous as I’d expected! My Vibram FiveFingers just weren’t working for me for more than about 10 miles, so my long runs in recent weeks have all been epic suffer-fests. Yesterday I had on a new pair of Asics, and I’d finally figured out how to lace them to give my toes enough space to spread and keep my heels from slipping.

There was an official half marathon happening on the trail that day, and I arrived before it began, had no trouble parking, finished after it ended, and faced no delays on my drive home. What luck!

I also packed myself an icy cold, post-run egg nog in the car. It was awesome: 10/10 recommend. (I’m so clever) I had a 90-minute massage that afternoon and felt pretty good on this morning’s 2.5-mile recovery run. Who’da thunk?

And then I realized the marathon is just over a month away, and holy crap, that’s kinda scary.

Well, I’m already chowing down on chocolate, trying to suppress the election anxiety, so let’s just roll the marathon nerves in there too. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Pre-Race Jitters

So I have my first Olympic triathlon this Sunday. I'll be swimming a mile, biking 24 miles, and running 10k. I've been out of the pool for a couple weeks because I tweaked my shoulder, and I haven't gotten any open water practice this season aside from a few minutes in Galveston because everything around DFW is flooded and closed. If Anxiety Brain would STFU for, like, 10 seconds, I'd be fine. But Logic Brain can't get a word in edgewise about this stupid triathlon, so I'm mostly just freaking out.

Hey, Moniqa, the course is well supported, and the kayak to athlete ratio will have greatly increased by the time you get tired, so you're really not gonna drown.

Hey, Moniqa, the only cutoff is 90 minutes for the swim, and there's pretty much no way it will take you that long.

Hey, Moniqa, you're really fucking stubborn and tough no matter if you're slow as hell. Remember that time you slugged it out through a 15-mile Spartan course over 7 hours when you were dead-certain going in that you'd drop out by mile 9? Well, you only have to jog, walk, or crawl 10k on this course.

Hey, Moniqa, remember that time you finished a 5-mile Spartan when your ITBS flared up after the first mile and any sane or reasonable person would have asked for a medic and sat her ass down?

Hey, Moniqa, remember that time you finished a half marathon (13,1 miles) in tears because the ITBS flared in the last 3k and the finish line was UP a motherfreaking hill?

Hey, Moniqa, remember that, like, 95°F triathlon you did on Labor Day last year without a proper bike fitting and outright cried through most of the 15-mile course and had to call your mom for help getting back to your car? You finished that god-forsaken race, too.

Chill the fuck out, yo. The weather's gonna be WAY cooler than it should be for late May. Your knees have been quiet all season and you've logged plenty of miles on the bike and run even if it's not as many as you'd planned on. Your shoulders are tweaked but not actually injured. The cold-ass water will help, and it's okay to be miserable and uncomfortable, because you won't be hurt.

 You already picked up your packet, so you already got a really cool shirt and socks and bag!

And you have a brand new, BOSS BAWG kit to wear. It makes you look super sexy AND strong.

A shitty swim

So today's swim was interrupted by a sudden panic over my long tri in May. Anxiety Brain didn't care that I still have plenty of time to train or that I'm finally comfortable in the water or that, hey, I'm trying to breathe and focus on swimming HERE. . . . RIGHT NOW.

"This is a pool. A POOL. It doesn't even compare. Open water is so awful; you can't possibly prepare for that! You can only swim 500 meters in open water and not fast or well. Why is does this tri have A MILE-LONG SWIM? It should be 800-1000 meters. No team, no coach. How could ANYONE do this alone?"

 

There wasn't even space to remember that I'll have two or three well-supported open-water swim-only races with an organization I like in the weeks before the tri. And if the weather patterns continue as they are, the lake will be plenty warm for all events so I won't even have to struggle against cold water.

And right now I'm not even supposed to be thinking about anything beyond my sprint tri in in two weeks!

Thanks a lot, brain.

There's an inspirational quote that says a good goal should scare you a little. I don't think this is what it meant.

Aaand I just read an article that says "By far, the majority of injuries or trauma on race day occur during the Swim." YIKES! I have indeed read some swim-start horror stories.

BUT I've done open water wade-in AND jump-in swim race starts without panicking, so I should be able to again.

Challenge mindset: I guess I need to plan a few trips to the beach in the next two months and bring a safety buddy. The weather has been unseasonably warm these winter months, so the water should be especially nice in a few weeks. Or at least warmer than freezing, which is what matters. I’ve never tried freestyle swimming in salt water, but I know lots of people do it, and Galveston has long, shallow swim beaches with little risk of rip tides. And I do love the beach.

A Hard Ride

Training has a lot of ups and downs. I had a rough bike ride today, and Lizard Brain is really letting it get to me. This morning I found myself woefully under-dressed for the chilly lake air and cut my ride short due to an under-inflated tire, the cold, and the perpetual pain my vulva feels whenever I ride.*

This is the second time I've touched my bike since that godawful Labor Day triathlon.

Logic Brain knows a 30-minute ride "ain't nothin," I'll be better prepared next time, and I've got enough time before my races to get where I need to be (a mid-March Sprint and late-May Oly). And, remember, I had an AWESOME 5-mile run last night.

But feelings don't listen to Logic Brain.

There is no small bit of fear floating around in here that I've bitten off more than I can chew by signing up for that late-May Olympic-distance triathlon (1-mile swim + 24.1-mile ride + 10k run). I can comfortably swim and bike 1/3 of those distances and do 2/3 of that run.

Putting them all together, though? I've got a long way to go.

And now it occurs to me that my emotional responses may be wrecked by this Sunday's and Monday's migraines, and I'll probably be okay soon enough. That would explain . . . a lot of this week.

*I have an appointment Tuesday for a bike fitting. I should have done it a long time ago, certainly before my 15 miles of tears at the Labor Day tri, but the "cheap" service is a whopping $75. I don't know how anyone can afford this sport.