Shoulder injury

Last Friday I was throwing around a medicine ball like I've done before, and doing some burpee/pushups with 5-pound dumbbells, when my left collarbone twinged painfully. I'd finished my intended sets and was about to try for one more, so I quit and moved to the elliptical, easily pushing hard on the hand bars.

I forgot about it until the next day when it twinged again as I reached in my closet. It had been quiet all that afternoon when I'd been sword-fighting and doing difficult, draining, shot-block drills. It's been generally uncomfortable and mildly sore since then.

I've been trying to take it easy, skipping upper body workouts and trying not to panic about Spartan Beast training. I can feel a knot just below the clavicle but can't do anything about it. Today it twinged again, much much worse, when I reached into the fridge, and now it's radiating pain throughout my shoulder as I try to breathe through and blink back tears. Less than ideal for getting any work done.

So now it looks like I probably need to see a doctor. I broke my collarbone as a kid; it's lumpy and uneven compared to the other, but I never paid it any attention before and don't know whether there's been any change. I can't afford to see a doctor and am really unhappy and upset about this.

I feel like a failure because my body is seemingly too weak for moderate intensity workouts and because I talk about listening and being kind to your body but have failed to do so. I like to try to push myself to exhaustion, not injury. Logical brain knows this is nonsense and that this injury is just a fluke; Jerkbrain is being Jerkbrain.

The silver lining is that running is still on the table.

Arbor Hills Nature Preserve

I set out in brutal 90% humidity on Sunday to get in a two-mile trail run, roughly 7.5 miles, I think. It was my second run at the Arbor Hills Nature Preserve, and my first time solo. This is a gorgeous 200-acre park with both paved and natural trails, and I definitely recommend it. The hills are mild compared to Cedar Ridge but still much steeper than anything around my neighborhood.

 I hit the Outer Loop Trail and got a bit lost and distracted on the Trestle Loop Trail, so I stopped my watch, sat down, and enjoyed the scenery and cool air for a few minutes.

I fell in love a little bit with a guy with a beautiful dog I kept passing throughout the run. I eventually found my way out of the Trestle Loop and back onto the Outer Loop. Once I finished, I turned around and ran the Outer Loop back the other way . . . up the hills.

I may preach to others to be kind to their bodies, but my mantra this day was "Just fucking do it!" whenever I wanted to walk, which was frequently. Going the other direction, I found the gorgeous Riparian Forest and trekked back and forth through there for a while.

At about 1 hour, 45 minutes, I was BEAT. But I dutifully tromped up the last hill and ran one last small loop, determined to finish. It was little more than a glorified speed walk, done slowly. Ultimately, I was amazed at the strength I still found in my legs to carry me up all those hills and across so much distance for a whole two hours. I can't wait to work harder and longer next weekend.

I tested my new Gooseberry hydration pack, Under Armour tee and matching runderoos (which are too cute and I really want a pic of me modeling both), and GU watermelon chomps. I'm pretty happy with all of them. It took me a whole hour to figure out how to hack the hydration pack since I was working so hard for tiny sips. I bit the mouthpiece and used my hands to pull the pack straps forward, squeezing the pack against my body and using the force of physics in my favor instead of trying to suck against the direction of gravity. The chomps have a lighter flavor and are easier to consume than Gatorade chews, which get stuck in my teeth pretty badly.

All in all, it was a good run.

Cobras and llamas and bears, oh my!

I got to go to the Sharkarosa Ranch on Sunday, Oct. 6 to see lots of cute animals. It was a gorgeous, cool day without a cloud in the sky. The drive way up to Pilot Point was tedious but definitely worth it with friends.

First we saw Cody the Cobra.

There was a petting zoo with lots of cute goats, two rabbits, a big pig, a sheep, a llama, and a camel. I didn't know camels could be so soft! There were all sorts of lemurs and other monkey-creatures napping in their enclosures. Two two-toed sloths did what sloths do; that is, sloth.

A wittle wallabee was all by himself on the far side of his pen. The kangaroos lazed through the afternoon, as well as two deer: a male and female.

This majestic creature was in an accident as a youngster and healed oddly.

There were two sad-looking bear rescues doomed to listen to "Bear Necessities" playing on repeat in their enclosure. And here is a link to the full album (30 photos).

Street harassment is never funny.

A member of a running group on Facebook posted that she pulled up in her car beside a runner and badgered the runner to stop so she could ask, “Do you know Jesus?” She later commented that this never happened and was only a joke.

I'm not laughing, either.

I commented, “I don’t find anything funny about harassing runners, for any reason.” After several others’ comments and her trying to explain it, I asked “Is a joke funny that has to be explained?” And one of the lovely self-professed Christians who though it was fall-off-her-chair hysterical told me to “shut the hell up” and ‘gtfo.’ 

These people are *awesome,* and I keep nearly rage-quitting the group, but my mere presence and measured responses cause them so much consternation that I think I’ll stay awhile.

Street harassment is never funny.

I credit my atheism to Christians.

Food

I don't typically talk about food because I am very strongly anti-diet-minded* and find that the mere thought of trying to eat healthier or cut out sweets is a surefire binge trigger. I used to count calories in college, and it made me an obsessive, neurotic, hangry beeyotch, because I'd heard so much about the number of calories a woman is supposed to eat, and those advertised numbers are all for dieting and never for health. It's absolutely amazing to learn how much I'm really supposed to be eating. Though individual metabolisms vary greatly, an Internet calculator told me that for my gender, age, height, weight, and activity levels, I need ~2,300 calories per day. That is so much food!

I really like food. I discovered Health At Every Size late last year through The Fat Nutritionist's blog and very seriously took to heart the practice of intuitive eating with an emphasis on permissiveness, meaning I get to eat whatever I want whenever I want as much as I want and trust my body to tell me when enough is enough. It means that sometimes I eat a little too much and feel too full, and sometimes I eat too little and have to make an extra meal. I get to enjoy food, all kinds of food, without fear, guilt, or anxiety.

Few things piss me off as much as food moralizing and comments about "earning" or "deserving" treats. You don't "earn" food; you require it to sustain life! Our relationships with food, as a society, are fraught, and I am hellbent on finding my way to normal eating, eating that doesn't rely on calories, grams, points, or earnings, eating a variety of enjoyable and life- and health-sustaining foods that support mental, emotional, physical, and social wellness.

One obstacle, though, is that I don't cook. I don't know how and don't have an interest in it. Sure, cooking is super fun and easy for lots of my peers, but it's not really something I enjoy. It takes a lot of time, planning, and preparation. It means I eat a lot of frozen foods, fast food, and cereal.

In the last six months, however, I've learned to use my roommates' slow cooker to make one helluva spicy turkey chili and bumble through various soups and stews with edible success. I dine out once or twice a week and always get a to-go box for the leftovers, which frequently are enough for another two meals.

I also started buying sandwich fixins to try to save money on groceries, even though sandwiches are SO dry and boring. But there is a panini press in my office, magically transforming dry and boring sandwiches in to hot, melty goodness.

As an endurance athlete, I recently rekindled my love for bagels and have been enjoying the hell out of them for breakfast most days. Say what you want about gluten-free, low-carb, no-dairy diets, but I have substantial daily caloric requirements to meet. That's not to say that I'm counting calories anymore; I'm eating when I'm hungry, which is frequently. And you know what? I've been maintaining my weight all year (even with increased mileage for Savage and Spartan training) and getting faster and stronger all the time

TL;DR
You should eat in a way that makes you happy and feel good. Dieting doesn't do that for me; I like and choose to eat anything and everything I want.



*"A panel of experts convened by the National Institutes of Health determined that "one third to two thirds of the weight is regained within one year [after weight loss], and almost all is regained within five years." More recent review finds one-third to two-thirds of dieters regain more weight than was lost on their diets; "In sum," the authors report, "there is little support for the notion that diets lead to lasting weight loss or health benefits." Link

Rugged & Raw 10k

Saturday morning I ran my first 10k trail race! I had run the course once before for training two weeks prior when we happened to get a cool snap, and it was glorious.

Pre-race: Let's do this.

Saturday morning's promised storms failed to make the event, so I ended up slogging in much hotter weather than I'd trained for in grueling humidity and finished several minutes slower than the last time.  The cold front didn't move in until roughly my last mile and a half, and it brought me a second wind. The official clock put me at 1:47 total, with a 17:16 pace. The training run was 1:44, and my goal was 1:40, but considering the circumstances, I'm OK with this.

My head wasn't in it this time, and the back half was truly brutal. I felt very strong through the first half, which is the easier part of the trail. There's a particularly fierce hill near the midway point and lots of steep climbs and descents after it. There are no hills in my town, so it was a helluva struggle for me.

Post-race: Hiding the pain

But I finished in one piece and view this as good preparation for the 6-7 mile Savage obstacle race I'm running on November 23. I finally have the motivation to incorporate hills and trail running into my training on a regular basis and am scheduled to do a training run with a friend tomorrow at a local nature preserve. Its hills are kinder but still difficult for me.

Major kudos to the event staff. This is Rugged & Raw's third year, and the race is capped at 200 runners. For such a small event, I was thoroughly impressed. The trails were marked wonderfully clearly. There were two aid stations on the course in addition to the one at the start/finish, and they all had water, Gatorade, AND Gatorade energy chews, which have been my product of choice so far. The swag bag included a sweet tech tee, a cool rubber bracelet, a package of energy chews, a package of wheat flatbread, and a couple of small product samples. Though I typically go for medals, I was perfectly happy with the shirt and overall organization.

I just found the overall race results. I placed 89th out of 101 10k runners and 43rd out of 53 women 10k runners. It's not good but not last. I'm eager to see how much I can improve and will try to fit this race into my calendar next year.

The Rugged & Raw 10k/20k race supports Back on My Feet, an organization that uses running to inspire self-sufficiency and independence among the homeless population and to help them find employment and housing.

Science and Music

I had a fun-filled, jam-packed weekend.
Friday night: Science of Music at the Perot Museum of Nature and Science!

Perot exterior in the early evening light

I sat in on some lectures in the theater but enjoyed the incredible acoustics of the theater itself more than the material presented. Two scientists discussed the use of sound for analyzing geography and other data, which is inherently very interesting stuff. I could tell they were passionate about their work, but I giggled inwardly because they are researchers and not very good at simplifying everything for a lay audience, so it was a terribly dull lecture, unfortunately. I'm glad I went.

I got to play a violin and a trumpet! UNT music students were there with instruments to share and glorious bottles full of antiseptic for use between uses.

I'm a lefty; this is weird.

I attended with a friend and really enjoyed the rare opportunity for some solo time with her. She sat in for one more lecture while I wandered the other exhibits. We briefly saw a dance company warming up but never happened to see their improv performances that night. There was supposed to be a silent disco, but it included people in fancy clothes walking around with headphones while looking at the minerals hall instead of dancing. I got no headphones, but I like the cool rocks, and at least this area was quiet.

Cool rocks

There was a pretty cool, creepy, dark video about the use of sound in video game development, specifically how the audio designer filters out high tones when your character drowns in order to simulate the sound of being underwater so that you will sympathize with your character, though you should be thoroughly desensitized to his dying by that point in the game.

Stuffed peacock in a hall of dead animals.

Stuffed cheetah in a hall of dead animals.

The Animals Inside Out exhibit from Body Worlds is also going on in the museum right now, with only slices of a giraffe visible in the lobby. The doors to the exhibit hall opened briefly as a teaser and I got to see the ostrich. It was too cool. The special exhibit costs extra, so I'll have to talk someone into taking me.

Horizontal cross sections. Giraffe hearts weigh 25 pounds.

Lobby interior at night

Exterior of the Perot at night.

Did you know the frogs outside light up? Neither did I.

Have I mentioned that the Perot Museum of Nature and Science is just about the coolest thing ever and that I've already been three times and want to go more several more to see Animals Inside Out and watch a science film in the gorgeous theater? It is, and I do.