Watercolor achievements

I'm usually pretty down on my 2-D art skills because my sister, by comparison, is SO amazing, but I still like to doodle and sketch a bit from time to time.

I recently unearthed an unfinished, years-old sketch and went to work on finishing it. I had been inspired by Egyptian art and curves and used no references for the figure, later Googling Egyptian art to draw from for the hair and eye detail. I used a light box to transfer the sketch to ink on sturdier paper. Once that was done, I noticed how far off center the figure was and added a sun to balance it. But I still had a white space on the left to address. I copied some random hieroglyphs, knowing a better artist would do some more research and planning, but I was eager to be done.

before adding water

I used watercolor pencil to line and shade the whole piece and then drew a wet brush over each section to blend and smooth the pencil colors. I learned too late that card stock is not sturdy enough for such an endeavor, so I pressed it as well as I could between my roommates' stack of medical textbooks. I am very pleased with the final results and having trusted my gut in using "maroon" instead of "brown" for the skin and "peach" instead of "yellow" for the background.

I'm headed to the store this evening to choose a mat for a frame I already have and will update to add a picture of the final product.

Dragon banner

This year we've had several banner competitions in Amtgard, in which I haven't yet had the chance to participate. Most of the banners are made by applique, but the process easily frustrates me and I'm not very good at it. So I wanted to try my hand at fabric painting.

The design I chose is my personal heraldry that I designed for use in Amtgard years ago. There isn't much meaning behind it except for pretty colors and shapes I like and am proud to have designed and drawn by myself. Maybe something about strength, power, wisdom, beauty.

I figured I could use acrylic paints for the project, which would be ideal since 1. we have a bunch of acrylics, 2. I didn't want to invest in fabric paints for just one project, and 3. I know how to use acrylics but am awkward with fabric paint. The internet said I could water down acrylics and that they would look best on light-colored fabrics, but my design required a black background, so I resigned myself to applying many layers.

I thought maybe I could use an embroidery hoop, but those flimsy wooden ovals cost much more than I wanted to spend. I found a plastic rectangular frame for the same purpose at a better price. I bought some plain black cotton fabric and stretched and clipped it on. I used a ruler to draw the straight lines in chalk and did the rest freehand, which is tricky.

I watered down acrylics and began painting. Actually, I had to mix up a purple first since we didn't have any. It was not pretty. The green was easy and the silver as well. I worried about the gold, thinking shortly after I began that maybe I should have put down a solid color first, but it ultimately turned out lovely.

I later bought purple and added it on, but it just wasn't showing up against the black. It is astounding just how much paint fabric can absorb, and I applied SO many layers. Growing frustrated with the purple, I mixed in silver and ended up with a cool, sparkly lavender that looked lovely on the black. I don't generally like lavender, but this was a huge improvement over the initial layers.

I thought I might use black paint or fabric pen to outline everything, but my aunt suggested gray to give the shield some "pop" against the black. Having used a silver Sharpie with great success on other very different and unrelated projects, I gave that a try and loved the results, again using a straight edge where needed.

Star Trek arts and crafts and mud

Inspired by a link a friend posted to the cutest ever Disney princess inspired ladies' running outfits, I decided I needed a red Star Trek ladies' tunic dress for running, especially for my Red Shirts team that will be running in the Mud Factor 5K this week.

I've made a t-tunic before, though not well, so I figured this would be easy enough. I first made one with extra fabric I already had to make sure I could do it. I pulled a dress from my closet with the fit I wanted and laid it on the fabric to cut around. I chose a purple stretch jersey fabric, because I like the color and don't like to roll my seams if I don't have to.

I cut out two dress shaped pieces, sewed the top edge of the shoulders together, sewed the sides together, and tried it on. And took in the sides once or twice with )( shaped stitches. Then I hemmed the cap sleeves and put bias tape on the neck hole. It was my first time working with bias tape, and it wasn't awful but I can't say anything better than that. I finally trimmed up and hemmed the bottom edge.

I loved the fit, though it occasionally bunches a bit above my chest near the shoulders. I've worn it several weeks to Amtgard for fighting and find it very comfortable. Standard Amtgard tunics are worn very baggy with the bottom hem approaching the knee and sleeves near the elbows. But I find it too damn hot for that in Texas in August, so I wanted the crop sleeves, snug fit like workout gear, and short hem for ease of movement.

I later bought red jersey fabric (shiny red fabric!) for the Star Trek version. I cut it a bit small, but it stretches, and I like wearing my clothes tight anyway . . . especially for obstacle courses. I actually bothered to fold the edges once and stitched them before sewing it all together; I needed something tougher for the wear and tear to come. I appliqued the insignia on it with spare yellow fabric, which was a nightmare. It ended up with bunchy corners, which is super irritating to look at, but people who don't sew won't know it's not awesome.

Other Mud Factor pics:

My office building is pretty

And I dig Instagram.

The light rail behind the building gets cool reflections on the concrete wall in the morning.

I wish this one hadn't been such a gray day.

A few random thoughts . . .

that came up in discussions today.

On aesthetic preferences in sexual attraction:

While it's understandable that a person wants to be left alone in their preferences, I think they should be encouraged to challenge and question those preferences which are so heavily influence by cultural conditioning. It ought to make them feel uncomfortable because that means they're examining the issues they need to, whether they decide to change or not. One CAN, through conscious effort, expand one's opinion of beauty. And even if it's uncomfortable, it's a positive progression.

On “word policing”:

Language shapes our thinking, and if people are allowed to use it unconsciously in harmful ways, they perpetuate harmful thinking. Nothing is lost when we put our foot down and say that using "gay," "lame," or "retarded" as pejoratives is not OK and that we expect others to make the effort to utilize any one of thousands of other adjectives to describe negative situations. Word policing is a necessary component of idea policing and forcing progress.

In the context of body positivity, it means pointing out the problematic nature of using the phrase "tramp stamp" and of using euphemisms for body types such as "fit" or "takes care of oneself" and of conflating weight with health.

Fueled By Anger

In response to a private message that seemed somewhat concern-trolling and presumptuous from a generally well-meaning friend:

I’m fueled by a lot of anger at having spent most of my life swallowing the message that I'd have to spend the rest of my life battling my weight in order to be happy, healthy, wealthy, or loved, and so much anger that so many others continue to believe this. I’m really glad to hear that you think I’m preaching to the choir, but I receive enough other feedback to indicate the contrary. There are still men who prove the point of these articles when they comment on them.

Beyond just posting links on my own page and seemingly yelling a lot, I frequently engage in discussion in private groups about weight, health, and beauty with women who haven’t heard it yet and are grateful when they do. (And am also contributing a chapter to an anthology of perspectives on the fat acceptance movement.)

Personally, I’m bored to death of being told I’m physically attractive, especially by men who are often clearly expecting my gratitude for their thinking so. (This is not actually directed at you.) I know I’m conventionally attractive; it’s boring. I didn’t earn it and don’t feel complimented. I don’t want to settle for reaping the benefits of my privilege without a though and I don’t want a world in which women of different sizes, abilities, colors, etc., have to accept that bigotry either.

I can silently work to accept that I will never be a "normal" or a "healthy" weight according to the "experts." Or I can teach and remind everyone that BMI is not an indicator of health and should not be used to make policy, and I can influence the attitudes and opinions around me and ultimately convert everyone I know to the "Yay fitness!" party and not have to hear about diets and weight loss and body shame all around.

I didn’t always know these things or feel this way; I came to them by reading and learning, and others will, too.

Radical inclusion is a bullshit philosophy

A rant:

Radical inclusion is a bullshit philosophy that empowers bullies and criminals. No group is so desperate for membership that it should refuse to protect its members by ousting abusers.

As much as I bitch about my group, my gripes are about the pushback against our leaders' efforts to create safe spaces and anti-harassment policies. From a public relations degree, I am repeatedly disgusted by the burn community's failure to take responsibility and own its shit ethically. And NTP, too, for that matter. Too many people I love have been hurt (read: raped) repeatedly in those communities and only the criminals receive support and protection. Whether community leaders see it or not, their numbers and the quality of their membership suffer by upholding radical inclusion over basic human decency.

Flipside 2012 is the one burn I've attended, though I've been burning solo since '08-'09. I was very offput by the expectation that anyone and everyone deserved to hug me whenever they met me and as they pleased without ever asking.

I refused to partake of any illegal substances because I never have and don't know how I would react, don't know if I could care for myself, and DO NOT trust anyone there to look after me. I had a very good time with vodka, never getting drunk beyond my capacity, though to care for myself.

I was always hyper-vigilant when walking alone and spent more time alone than inserting myself in social situations. This is somewhat what I prefer, but I cannot say how much of my behavior, too, is motivated by distrust for people in general and especially who are stoned out of their gourds.

I carry a small knife on my belt (at burns, camping events, amtgard, etc.) because it's useful for mundane activities and also imparts me some sense of security.

I had a very enjoyable event overall, but it was such that I needed a break from it this year and thought maybe to return next year, or maybe Myschevia, but the medical bill killed that idea. I also feel like it's so much work trying to attend these events, trying to enjoy them, trying to insert myself in a community mostly because so many of my friends do it.

But I've heard too many stories like this, too many regular troublemakers protected, rapists protected, to try any more. It breaks my heart every time I hear of it. I'm beyond done with it. I don't know you closely or well, but I admire you greatly, care for you, and love you, my friend. If all I can do is stand beside you, I'll do that. If I were more involved, if I were more influential, I'd write and debate and rant and rave all day for you, for this, for all of us. That's not the situation, though, and I feel that I can only cut and run to protect myself.