Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Can Men and Women be Just Friends?

The answer is: not if either party is married because there is nothing to be gained from friendship with the opposite gender* except advice on attracting a mate, or making that friend your mate.

According to Brett McKay from The Art of Manliness (I swear I did not even make that up):
"And while opposite-sex friendships can provide benefits, those benefits really only apply to singles. Your guy friend can provide insights into how the male mind works, which may help you navigate your romantic life more successfully. Or—perhaps an unexpected benefit—an opposite-sex friendship could evolve into a fulfilling romantic relationship. Many solid marriages begin from a solid friendship."
Instead of planning to regularly communicate with your spouse about mutual needs and expectations and respecting the boundaries you establish together, you really ought to defriend everyone the same gender as your spouse. Or if you're bisexual, I suppose, don't have any friends. Ever.
"Sadly, my wife and I know a few people—both men and women—who ended up cheating on their spouses with a close opposite-sex friend when the above scenario played out. These people were ardent proponents of the idea that men and women can still be friends, even while married . . . right up until those friendships destroyed their marriages."
Personal responsibility is hardly a necessary component of a healthy relationship as long as you only have friends you're not attracted to. Because it's not people who decide to cheat but friendships that ultimately destroy marriages.

Silly me. My little lady brain had thought there might be mutual enjoyment to be had from conversing with interesting people of the opposite gender about anything other than my supposed perpetual search for a proper penis to fulfill my lifelong dreams and validate my existence in this world. I guess I should know better, especially since a random man on the Internet says so, and everything Men say is Highly Logical, Well-Reasoned, Irrefutable Truth.

So, I guess I have a long list of men who need to break up with / unfriend me now. When I explained the situation, one assured me he only ever befriends women he intends to have sex with, but we agreed: Ain't nobody got time for dat!

Well, it's been nice knowing you fellas, but we just can't be friends anymore because other people have been known to cheat on their spouses and there may come a day when my Sinister Lady Bits** lead you into temptation, and there will be NOTHING you can do about it! Muwahaha! You just can't trust 'em, those wild vagina-raptors, always on the prowl for innocent, married prey.

*Sorry for the hetero-normative wording. I'm not sure how to reword it any better.
**Dibs on future band/troupe name.

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