I put some thought into recent responses on Quora and figured I'd share them here, too, since I clearly need to work on writing more consistently.
How do you deal with being asexual?
It can help to remember that there is nothing wrong
with you. Society is messed up. Social stigma is never your fault.
Our culture’s valuation of sexual relationships is narrow-minded, unbalanced,
impractical, and unhealthy.
Others’ assumptions about asexuality and misunderstandings
can create a lot of challenges in social interactions, but that is not your
fault either.
One way to deal with this is to find community. Look for
asexual and demisexual groups and pages to follow on social media and forums,
check out meetup groups in your area, and explore the friends-seeking features
on apps like OkCupid and Bumble.
Learning more about your particular feelings of attraction
or lack thereof both sexually and romantically as well as your desires in
relation to sexual, sensual, affectionate, and platonic touch will help you
develop a strong sense of self and help in navigating relationships with
friends and others. It will allow you to determine your wants, needs, and
boundaries and how to express them so others will learn how to treat you. There
are more and more books, blogs, YouTube videos, memes, and podcasts on these
topics. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network has
some great resources to look into.
Some ace folk find ethical non-monogamy and polyamory to be
valid and fulfilling relationship models because they can enjoy partnership (be
it romantic, affectionate, queerplatonic, or something else) without pressure
or expectation to fulfill someone’s specific needs that do not mesh with their
own. There are lots of books, podcasts, blogs, conferences, social events, and
social media groups that can provide more information if this is something that
piques your curiosity.
Visibility of asexuality is increasing, and there are many
queer allies pushing for better understanding, inclusion, and support of the
asexual spectrum within the LGBTQIA community.
Above all, do what feel right for you and don’t give in to
others’ pressures or expectations. Be true to yourself, and find people who
respect, support, and honor you in doing so.
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